Not Dead Yet!

Today I've just been asked to fill in a form from the Dove House Strictly team so that they find out more about us, and maybe use our stories in what they share to raise awareness of the Strictly event and, of course, their (and our) fundraising efforts. 

Describe yourself in 3 words... Not Dead Yet!  was what came to mind.  So I've not had the best of days, and some days, having had a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis plays on your mind.  Today was one of those days.  But as the picture above, and my participation in Strictly 2018 shows, I am Not Dead Yet! 

A cancer diagnosis makes you contemplate your mortality, and while my cancer diagnosis is now absolutely ages ago (well - June 2016) there are days where it looms large in your mind.  There can sometimes be a reason for this, if it is coming up to an anniversary or a particular appointment check up, and other days it can just be the way you feel when you get out of bed, when a part of your body aches in a way that you don't expect.  Is it just that I worked hard at my dancing that I have strange pains in my legs or is it Lymphoma?  Does my back ache because my pelvis still isn't quite straight, or is it Lymphoma coming back to raise it's bloody ugly head again.  I'm here to tell you that it's because my pelvis isn't quite straight and because I'm working hard at learning my dances! 

Those who know me know how upbeat and positive I try to be, and I manage that most of the time, because to do so makes me feel better, if I focus on the positive I feel amazing.  If I focus on the negative I feel like crap!  So why would I focus on the negative?  So to help me today to focus on the positive I have had the video of Martin and I doing the tango (from our practice on Saturday), to Cell Block Tango from Chicago.  I've been belting out the tune, I've been practising my steps, and waiting, excitedly for my costume to arrive.  Body suit, black and red scarf that will be fashioned into a tango skirt, and a black wig!! You can maybe tell I'm very excited about this outfit. 

I hope you will come and support me, and watch me prove that I have a lot of life left in me, and that this body, that gave me a massive fright, will still do what I ask of it.  That this brain that is still struggling with chemo brain can still learn, and learn well.  And cheer me on, because it would be amazing to see you there.  Friday 23rd March at the Hull City Hall! (You can buy tickets from me or from the Hospice)
 And if you can't make it, could you make a donation in support of me doing this?  Donate online here

Pam xx